I was legit so hyped for Shrek 3. So were most of the people I knew. Nobody wanted to see it on release, they were all Slowpokes who couldn't make it in the first week. So I just went alone. Just me, Shrek, and rivers of disappointment that ran deeper than Shrek's Ogre Dong. Sadly, by this point, I'd already committed to watching it with my brother. So I went out and watched it a second time, somehow lasting through a film that moves slower than a pregnant Fiona.
Alas, the story gets worse. See, I come from a large family. Larger than Shrek's. And my sister's Birthday was around a month from launch. I tried to talk her out of it. I really did. And when that failed, I tried to find an excuse to bail on her Birthday party. It didn't work. I saw Shrek 3 for the third time. Three times too many for a 3rd film. There's almost a kind of poetry to it.
I think I saw Shrek 4 at some point. Not even sure whether it was the film or the trailer I saw.
0/Shrek would not Shrek again.
You don't really know a man until you've trespassed in his swamp.